


The Five Christmases

by amyraudenfelds



Category: Faking It (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS HAHAH, i blame brit queerkarmy for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 08:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyraudenfelds/pseuds/amyraudenfelds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one time they spend Christmas together for the first time, the one time they don't spend Christmas with each other at all and the three times they spend Christmas in complete bliss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five Christmases

The first time they spend Christmas together, they are six.

Molly asks them, from the kindness of her heart, to have supper with them and Farrah accepts it.

(They leave out the part where Molly only asks them that because Amy’s dad just left them, and they are just trying to be supportive.)

Amy is too young to understand it, but in some capacity, she gets it. She gets that daddy isn’t going to be around this Christmas. She gets it ‘cause she gets a card, instead of a hug, and she gets a scrawny looking teddy bear, instead of only getting her gift in Christmas morning.

And mommy’s been crying. It makes Amy sad. And Amy knows mommy is crying because daddy left. And it makes her want to cry too. She’s been quiet these last few weeks. And Karma notices it.

Amy’s got Karma, though. Her best friend.

Little chubby Karma, with her big hazel eyes and her hair always tied up in pretty pony tails. Using overalls and always with a band-aid on her knee, because she didn’t care about falling down and things like that. Leave it to Amy to be the careful one.

Karma has her hands behind her back, and she looks at Amy the way she always does when they are about to do something that their mother told them not to. And normally Amy would follow the rules (they are there for a reason), but to Karma rules just don’t exist.

“I’ve got your gift.” Karma whispers, excitedly.

“Karma!” Amy whispers back, looking around. They are in the middle of the Ashcroft’s living-room. Zen is upstairs playing videogames, and the adults are all talking in the kitchen. “It’s not Christmas day yet!”

“It’s almost midnight, Amy. Come on!” Karma practically chants in her infant voice. She puts the gift in front of her. It’s all prettily wrapped, and Amy knows it was Karma’s mom who did the wrapping up. Karma smiles from one ear to another, one of her front teeth lacking.

Amy rolls her eyes – she is six and she already rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine.” She smiles, excited.

Karma hands her the gift and Amy unwraps it faster than her eyes can keep up with it. It’s a box of 46 crayons and it’s got every color there probably is in the world. Amy loves it. It’s the best gift she’s got.

And what makes it even better is that she can share it with her best friend.

* * *

They are sixteen now. And this is the first Christmas they don’t spend together after they met.

Karma’s got a gift wrapped up for Amy. She thinks about delivering it. Letting bygones be bygones. But she is still so hurt.

She’s done with Liam. But she misses Amy. Misses her best friend who was more of a Scrooge to her Frosty.

She misses lying on the couch on Christmas morning with Amy, blankets wrapped up around them, watching Christmas cartoons all day. Just being lazy and drinking hot organic chocolate.

She misses Amy.

Karma stares down at her gift. She got her best friend – or ex-best friend? It hurts too much to think like that, so best friend it is. She got Amy this limited edition vinyl of this band she really likes. She pictured the image a thousand times over in her head. Amy smiling from ear to ear, finally starting her so desired vinyl collection. And Karma waited patiently for the time to give Amy the vinyl. She had bought it way back. But it was after Amy’s birthday, so she wanted to deliver it in a special date.

Here’s the thing about Amy: she is all about gifts that she can share. The crayons Karma gave her, and books and the music. She likes to share things, likes to show only very selected people her own world.

And Karma misses being a part of it.

So she makes hot chocolate, and she lies down on the couch wrapped up in blankets (she needs to use the double quantity she’d normally use. The couch is extremely cold without Amy), and she puts on the vinyl. And when the music finally fills her room and she closes her eyes, it’s almost like Amy’s there with her.

And it’s almost like it’s Christmas.

* * *

Amy was never particularly fond of Christmas. She thinks it’s never about the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s always about giving gifts. And she also hates it because you’re supposed to spend it with your family.

And this year, Bruce and Farrah have gone to the Bahamas. And Lauren is with her aunt back in Dallas. (She gave Amy a hug and a merry Christmas wish. It was surprising, but they were getting to the stage where they didn’t need to be at each other’s throats all the time).

So she’s alone.

And she’s the loneliest she’s ever been, because she feels alone. And she’s been feeling like this since Karma found out about her mistake with Liam.

Karma probably tried to make amends. But then what? Amy isn’t going to ignore that their friendship is beyond fucked up, and it is just going to feel strained and weird.

(She’d take strained and weird on her worst day, though.)

It’s been a year since she hasn’t had an actual conversation with Karma. And this is going to be the second Christmas they were going to spend apart. Who knows? Maybe she should get used to it.

She still has her gift for Karma from last year. But it didn’t stop her from buying another. She doesn’t know if she’s ever going to deliver them.

That’s when being alone in the house gets a little bit too much and she has to take a walk.

She’s about rounding on the park, her boots crunching the snow down her feet. She isn’t paying attention to anything, other than her terrible mood. She doesn’t know where she’s going. She’s just following her heart.

And her heart leads her to the Ashcroft household.

She can see Zen’s hybrid car parked on the garage. And the lights are all on inside and outside the house, even though it’s still in the middle of the afternoon.

Amy spends sometime stopped by the door, her hand in the air like she could almost ring the doorbell. But fear gets the worst of her, and she turns back to leave.

The door opens up behind her.

“So, are you going to stay outside in the cold like a buttface, or are you actually going to come in and eat with us?” Amy turns to stare at Karma, who’s waiting by the porch. Her eyes are full of expectation, and she tries to shrug it off, but Amy can sense the fear of rejection in her eyes.

She’s never gonna reject Karma Ashcroft. Not in a million years.

Amy smiles sheepishly and nods, and like they have done it a thousand times before, Karma holds out her hand, and when Amy takes it, she leads Amy inside her house.

It’s complete bliss. And maybe she doesn’t hate Christmas as much anymore.

* * *

It’s the first Christmas in their new apartment. They’ve been dating steady for seven years now, and they thought the next logical step was to move in together.

For a year, when they were seventeen, they shifted and adjust to this new mechanic. Even though it wasn’t exactly new. Karma was still Amy’s best friend, and Amy was still the thing Karma loved the most in the world. All was fine.

But they waited to see if they could do it. And when they saw they could, they never looked back.

Their new apartment is a bit cramped, and Karma’s got this stray cat for them. She says it’s their baby, but Amy thinks it has the capacity of murdering her in her sleep. (The cat absolutely worships Karma. So incredibly predictable.) It’s a rescue cat, and it doesn’t have one of its paws – to what they adapted a “walker”, and one of its eyes. Karma thinks it’s the most beautiful cat. And her name is Io.

They decorate as well as they can manage. They go tree shopping and Amy has splinters on all of her fingers, but she’s happy. They put a Christmas mix on to play as they go around decorating. And it takes Amy’s breath away to see how beautiful Karma looks with all the lights from the Christmas tree glimmering on her flushed cheeks and her eyes.

Amy wants to kiss her. But Karma is quicker and does it before Amy can go for it. She hums along the carol on the radio, against Amy’s lips.

The apartment is full of boxes for unpacking. They don’t care. The tree is tall and shining and it has a star on the top. And it feels so good. It feels so real and Amy loves this life. She loves her girlfriend Karma, and she loves her best friend Karma.

They don’t go to sleep. They say awake and they manage to find Christmas cartoons, and Amy’s got her arm over Karma’s shoulders. And Karma’s arms are around her hips. It feels like the best present she could have gotten.

They are happy and they are in their home. They’ve been each other’s home for so long, that it actually feels good to have a place where they can be just that.

When it’s midnight, Karma gets up, goes to their room for a bit and retrieves something. As she walks back in to where Amy is, she’s holding a small wrap in her hand. Karma offers it to Amy, and Amy takes it, looking at Karma with wonder. (Like she doesn’t always look at Karma like that).

She rips the wrapping paper, and when she opens the box, there’s a dozen little crayons all cramped up inside it. Amy laughs with the memory, but Karma is serious. She looks almost nervous, as if she is waiting for Amy to find something.

She inspects the box further, shakes it to a side and then the other. And then she turns it upside down. A dozen crayons fall on the couch. But something smaller falls on Amy’s hand.

It’s an engagement ring. Karma looks at her with the question implied, and she’s ready to get on her knees. Amy doesn’t let her. She’s already shouting “Yes!” before the other girl can even propose.

Because she’s already been saying yes to Karma since the moment she met her. Because she’ll always say yes to an opportunity to bring Karma even more into her life.

Because Amy loves her more than anything in the world. And Karma loves her like that, too.

* * *

It’s been thirty years since Karma’s been spending Christmas with Amy. Twelve years of them being married. Only now, they have their family. Still including Io, the old cat. She’s got a grey muzzle, but the kids love her.

In all of her wildest dreams of happiness, Karma would have never pictured she would be this happy.

They moved out from their crampy little apartment, and now they live in a big house, with a big yard so the kids can play. They have two kids. A boy and a girl. And who knew the recipe to make Amy’s father come back in the picture would be grandchildren?

For years, Karma wondered who would even have the courage to leave Amy behind. And in the end, she gave up wondering, because she would never be capable of even understanding it. It doesn’t matter he’s around now. Amy doesn’t care, either.

They have fun decorating everything with the children, and they are so eager to find out what their gifts are. Karma wants to give them the gifts by midnight, like she always does with Amy, but Amy is all about tradition. She wants to have the Christmas breakfast, and the gift unwrapping morning with them. Karma lets her. For someone who used to hate Christmas, Amy seems pretty fond of them now. And Karma is just fond of her wife.

She admires them from the countertop, and she feels a rapture of affection when she looks at them. Their boy has the same snarky attitude he inherited from Amy, even though he looks exactly like Karma. But the girl has the same liquid green eyes as Amy, and the same golden hair, and it’s like Karma’s watching Amy grow up in front of her all over again. She loves watching the three of them. Amy is helping them unwrap the gifts. And Karma joins them, because her presence is required.

She gets a gift from them, but she already has the biggest gift she can have. She loves her kids and her wife, and she is happy. She wishes she could tell fifteen year-old Karma what she knows now.

They all end up cramped up in the couch, watching Christmas cartoons.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a quick ficlet i wrote because brit queerkarmy made me overflow with Christmas + Karmy headcanons. this is the result.


End file.
